Hello.
You don't have any almond milk?
Sorry. Just soy.
Who are you?
I'm Cheryl.
Your mom said I could fix myself a snack.
I'll make do with the soy.
My mother's a therapist
with a home office and no boundaries.
That's why I often eat breakfast in my bathroom.
And you must be the daughter
that washed out of the banking business
and came crawling back home.
Yeah, there's only one, and that's me.
And now you're working at your brother's bar?
That's gotta be humiliating.
Mom!
Yes, dear.
Oh.
I see you've met Cheryl.
Yes, I have.
And you both like raisin toast.
Ah.
Social anxiety issues.
Coming in the house is such a breakthrough for her.
Mom.
Hey, why does Wayne wanna take me for coffee?
Is he gonna tell me how he wants to be a stuntman again?
Oh, let him have his dreams.
He's just trying to have a closer relationship with you.
And would it kill you to call him "Uncle Wayne"?
I mean, he's asked you about a thousand times.
They're outta almond milk.
Thanks, Cheryl.
Well, I'm off to work.
Hope the traffic's not too bad.
You can bring your toast, Cheryl.
So at school, have you met any new...
Let's not have the friend talk, okay?
I'm fine.
Sorry!
Just, you know, trying to help.
Give her a little room to breathe, Mom.
Dina.
Good old sad, lonely Dina.
Stephanie. Good old shallow, controlling Stephanie.
Hmm. Can I get you something?
Another waitress.
You're so funny.
I wonder if that's why all the men are scared away.
I slept with your husband in high school.
He says he doesn't remember.
Oh, Dina.
Sad and lonely Dina.
Shut up.
Hey, ref.
Hey, beer guy.
That's six.
Need anything else?
Um, I will let you know.
Wow, beer guy is super hot.
I guess. If you like that type.
I do.
That's why I said, "beer guy is super hot."
Do I detect a little sparky spark
between you two?
Don't be stupid.
Do you want me to ask Stephanie to ask Wayne
to find out if he likes you?
Dina, we're not in middle school anymore.
Gosh.
Is he looking at me?
Yeah. Don't look, don't look.
He's hanging out by the peanut barrel.
I think he's working up the nerve.
Really?
You know what, I'm not gonna wait anymore.
I'm going in.
What? No.
No. No, Jennifer, wait.
Oh, I can't watch.
Oh.
Jeez, if I knew it was that easy.
Okay, okay, okay.
My turn.
Ah, Dina, David. David, Dina.
Hi.
We've been dating for three weeks now.
So no turn?
Just kidding.
How come I didn't know about this?
Well, we were kind of waiting to see
if it was gonna go anywhere.
Oh, I was pretty convinced last night.
And this morning confirmed it for me.
See you tonight.
Okay.
Wow.
You know, with the crap-storm
going on in my life right now,
the last thing I was looking for was a relationship, but...
Do you really think you need to explain this to me right now?
Oh, God, I wish I was that empty beer keg.
That's how he carries me around the house.
So do kids still wear those silly bandz?
What?
Not since, like, fourth grade.
Do they even make those anymore?
Yeah. Yeah, they still make 'em.
They're hard to find and kind of expensive,
but they make 'em.
In what world is that extra chocolate sprinkles, you know?
I'm... I'll be right back.
You're that new girl, from the private school.
Yeah. Hi, I'm Gretchen.
No one hangs out here anymore.
And Lorde wants her hair back.
Loser!
Hey!
That's not cool.
You can't treat my niece that way.
Forget it.
Wayne, you have chocolate sprinkles on your face.
I always do.
Hi, Four-beers-and-a-coffee.
Mr. Hates-his-family.
Hi, Gropey.
Ah, ah, ah, ah. Not today.
Somebody's in a good mood.
I am. It's David.
Things are going really well.
We just fit.
Wow, so tell me about him.
Where's he from?
I wanna say America.
Yeah?
Yeah, I mean, it's gotta be.
And he delivers beer.
Brothers? Sisters?
Could be.
Do you know anything about this guy?
I think he likes music.
So you've dated him a month,
and you've slept with him I don't know how many times.
- 35. - You don't even know...
Wait, 35? Really?
That's, like, my whole first marriage.
He's not much of a talker.
But you know what, you're right.
I mean, if he's gonna be my boyfriend,
I should at least know half as much about him
as he knows about me.
First thing tonight,
I'm gonna get David to open up.
Oh, my God.
Okay, second thing.
- That was amazing. - Amazing.
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, anything.
I mean, I just...
I feel like you know so much about me.
What about you?
What's going on inside David?
So what did you learn?
So much. So much.
Uh, okay, so he's from Milwaukee, as it turns out.
Catholic parents.
Father lapsed, mother devout.
Youngest of three brothers.
Uh, left-handed, kicks right.
And wants more out of life, but wants to keep it simple.
And how many of those are lies?
All of them.
He's not even left-handed.
Yeah.
I mean, I tried to get him to open up,
and every time I asked him about himself
he'd turn it back to me.
He's like a wizard that way.
Or you have a giant ego.
Yes, and he knows exactly how to take advantage of that,
as a wizard would.
I don't know, Dina.
Maybe he's just been really hurt by love.
You know?
I mean, maybe somewhere deep inside
he's afraid to open up
because he's scared he's gonna get burned again.
Or he's just a dude.
Yeah, it's probably the dude thing.
Hmm.
There's no almond milk.
Jennifer.
David?
What... how are...
Did you follow me home?
Home. You live with Dr. Doyle?
Oh, my God.
Are you seeing my mom?
Okay, this is too weird.
How did you...
Oh, I see you've met my daughter, David.
Close your mouth, sweetie.
Mom, we have got to talk about David.
How did he end up coming to you?
Wayne.
He recommends me to people in the bar who need help,
and I recommend his bar to my patients
who like to drink.
I cannot believe you're seeing my boyfriend.
Of course.
You're "Rebound girl."
Rebound girl?
Did he just get out of a relationship?
I can't tell you.
But yes.
And that's all you'll get from me.
You know about my firewall,
doctor/patient confidentiality.
What firewall?
You tell me stuff all the time.
I'm sorry, Dave is very vulnerable right now.
He's in a new relationship.
With me!
It's too early to tell if it'll last.
I understand it's mostly physical.
Oh, my God.
You know about my sex life.
Again, I can't really talk about it,
but, wow, you may want to slow it down.
A man likes a little mystery, honey.
I can't believe he talked to you about that.
That's just... wait, he talked to you about that.
How the hell did you get him to open up?
I've been trying to get him to talk to me
ever since I met him.
Firewall, honey.
But I can tell you he's very hopeful
about the relationship.
Well, except for...
No, I've said too much.
What? Except for what?
You can't stop at "except for."
I'm sure he'll tell you.
No, that's the point!
He doesn't tell me anything.
Your 4:00 is here.
And there's a lot of yelling.
Thank you, lorna.
Yelling is a big trigger for her marital issues.
Her father was a rage-o-holic,
and she's repeating patterns.
Mom, you have to tell me.
Except for what?
Firewall.
You know what, it's okay. It is.
I mean, she's not supposed to tell me.
He's got a right to his privacy,
and I don't have a right to know.
I can accept that.
Hurry up.
Maggie would flip if she saw you going through he files.
It's my mom. What's she gonna do?
Tell your mom?
God, do you think she would?
She went to the movies with lorna.
She's gonna be gone for at least another two hours.
Okay, good, good. What movie?
Who cares?
Right, not important. I'm just nervous.
Here it is.
Oh, my God, good, good. Okay, let's go.
Projectors break, lorna.
No, I don't think it's the beginning of the end times.
Wait, wait, wait.
No, I don't have any proof. I just don't.
We'll try again next week.
Yes. If you're not raptured.
Dina, what are you doing here?
I was just... I was waiting for you.
Really?
That's what I said, so it must be true.
The truth is, I'm... I'm going through some stuff.
Think I might need some therapy.
- Oh. - No.
Hey.
I know how to talk to high school kids.
I was kind of a big deal in high school.
Lettered in football, dated the hot cheerleader.
That's not important to the story.
It's just something I like to say.
Anyway, you just have to know how to be cool.
What up, shorties?
What's wrong, babe?
Some girls were mean to me.
Who was mean to you?
High school girls down at the strip mall,
and there's nothing you can do.
You can't hit 'em.
And if you yell at 'em,
they just laugh at you and tease you.
Do I have old man B.O.?
I'm happy Jennifer and I are hanging out again.
But?
Well, I mean, there's still some issues.
Of course.
Did you feel abandoned by her?
I know others did.
Yeah, I guess I did.
Don't worry, she's not here.
Let it all out.
Everything always revolves around her, you know?
It's like she's the only person
who's ever been in a crisis.
What the hell was that?
Well, I was trying to help you.
But your mother made some good points.
In my story I'm the hero,
and you're the sidekick.
Okay, can we just focus on this right now?
And there's that control thing she talked about.
First session.
"David's a tough nut to crack."
Second session.
"David still won't talk about himself.
Can't get through."
Third session.
"Almond milk..." What?
It's my mom's grocery list.
Fourth session.
"Blonde at my age, pros and cons."
Here it is. Fifth session.
"Breakthrough. David finally opened up.
Met a new girl."
Oh, my God, I got him to open up.
To your mother.
Yeah. Thank you, Dina.
Let's see, mother stuff, father stuff.
Fear of death, life is meaningless...
Here it is. "New girlfriend."
That's me.
It's... it's blank.
Damn it.
What the hell was the "except for" thing?
Well, at least I was the one that got him to open up.
To your mother.
Thank you again, Dina.
Look at us.
We've got this great thing going, right?
And things are moving forward.
Hmm.
Except for...
What?
I mean, you know,
just, like, things are going really good,
and... except for...
I'm sorry, babe.
I had a double session with your mother today.
I'm all talked out.
Okay, this can't go on!
Jennifer, what are you doing?
I'm in a session with a patient.
Not a patient. My boyfriend.
I was seeing him first.
This is very uncomfortable for me.
- I'll handle her, David. - I'm so sorry, babe.
Jennifer, you have to go.
This is very unprofessional.
You're the one being unprofessional.
You're my mother, and you're treating my boyfriend.
This has gotta stop.
Actually, I'm kind of okay with it if you guys...
- Stay out of it. - I got this.
I can't stop seeing David. He needs me.
He needs me!
You know, I'm beginning to regret
giving him the green light to start a new relationship.
Oh, my God, this is ridiculous!
You know what, that's it.
David, you either quit therapy,
or you quit me, but you can't have both.
No, you can't quit therapy.
He's just gonna have to choose.
He chose her!
Hey! Hi.
I couldn't tell Wayne I was doing this.
Guys get a little touchy about their wives
defending them from teenage girls,
but there's only one language
that kids like these respond to.
Cute outfits.
What, is it '90s day at school?
I had to out-mean them.
Who are you?
I'm your worst nightmare.
I'm you, except older and smarter.
But I know exactly who you are.
You, you're the clinger.
You're the desperate one of the group.
You're hoping they won't turn on you.
They will.
And you, you're the snooze.
The hopelessly dull, eager-to-please girl.
I am not. I'm very...
Ugh! Bored already.
And you,
queen bee.
You're pretty now.
But you just wait until you have a kid,
and your original nose comes back to haunt you.
Anyhoo, what's good here?
Cut it out, Mom.
What?
The gloating.
I feel good.
My patient is making healthy decisions.
To dump your daughter.
You're still stuck on that?
This blows.
Now he's seeing my mother twice a week.
I'm starting to hate the sound of his truck pulling up.
I'm going to my room.
Sorry.
Hope I'm not disturbing anything.
I really need to talk.
Well, if it's an emergency,
I can give you half an hour.
Let's go into my office.
I need to talk to Jennifer.
Oh.
Her.
- I don't wanna give you up. - No?
- I'm giving up therapy. - No!
Maggie, remember when I told you
that I was feeling hopeful about the relationship
except for feeling unworthy of Jennifer?
Firewall.
Wait a minute.
That's what the "except for" was?
You didn't feel worthy of me?
I didn't think I was ready,
but I have been working so hard with your mom
to overcome it,
coming twice a week, and it worked.
Well, we're making progress.
I'm not a miracle worker.
Maggie, you made me realize that I am worthy.
And now I am ready to be vulnerable.
I am ready to take that risk.
I've got so much to tell you, Jennifer.
Can I see you tonight?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Awesome.
Thank you so much, Dr. Doyle.
I never could have made this choice without you.
No, you're not ready.
There's still so much healing to do.
Knock it off.
God, this is great.
I feel like I could tell you anything.
So, uh, I guess you know I just came out of a relationship...
And that's when I knew her sister was into me,
so, you know, had that leverage going for me.
Relationships are all power games.
I mean, let's be serious.
I mean, come on, my grandmother is still gonna be dead
if I come back from Europe a month later, right?
Sure, technically it's my kid, I get that.
I just don't know why she has to put a dollar figure
on child support, you know?
Jennifer?
What'd you get?
Caramel mocha.
I love those.
Do you wanna hang out with us?
- Really? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, you, you, and you,
that's my niece, and she's awesome.
You think you're so cool?
Well, I called your parents and I told 'em
how you behaved to me and to Gretchen,
and guess what's waiting for you at home.
Spoiler alert, you're all grounded.
How do I smell now?
That's your Uncle?
What a freak!
Ugh!
Damn it, Uncle Wayne.
"Uncle Wayne." Yeah.
So when you said he still had healing to do,
you meant he still had healing to do.
Of course, dear.
Why do you think he was in court-ordered therapy?
So you were actually looking out for me.
Guess I'm still trying to get used to that idea.
It's nice seeing you get out there, sweetie.
I encourage it.
But a little heads-up,
stay away from my Thursday 3:30.
Got it.